


liquid gold

by iloveyoungho2090234



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Bad Poetry, Drugs, Heavy Angst, Inspired By Tumblr, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Poetry, Inspired by Real Events, JaeYong - Freeform, Lee Taeyong Needs a Hug, Loss, Love, Love Poems, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Not Happy, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Poetry, Random & Short, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, broken jaeyong, lapslock, nct - Freeform, poem fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 15:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveyoungho2090234/pseuds/iloveyoungho2090234
Summary: in which jaehyun goes back to her and taeyong goes back to black





	liquid gold

**Author's Note:**

> before anyone reads, this isn't supposed to be romanticizing, it's meant to be ugly and i know that writing it with this format may imply i'm romanticizing toxic relationships, drugs and alcohol but it's really not my intention. i just write things inspired by songs (back to black by amy winehouse and 1950 by king princess) and my life experience to get rid of the bad thoughts.

taeyong writes poetry like he was born to do so  
he lives for clichés and writing stories inspired by stupid rom-coms  
he lives for love, he's a hopeless romantic  
taeyong writes for people like jaehyun  
for people who seem to spread love  
for people who are symbol of warmth and everything good  
for him; whose smile makes you feel like liquid gold  
for the man who has power over him, makes him feel important  
but can toss you away as not good enough at any given time  
taeyong adores him, idolizes him, puts him up on a pedestal  
thinks that his god probably looks like jung fucking jaehyun  
and he's too soft with jaehyun, lets him get away with anything  
and he gets told by the man, ‘you're way too kind to me  
be hard on me, i could get away with murder with you  
you love me too hard, you would hide dead bodies if i asked you to  
you would do anything i do and do everything i demand  
this is dangerous, darling, your heart will stop  
this is obscure and unhealthy but i can't walk away from this  
this unconditional love, you're too good to be real  
but i cannot clean up your blood if you're too busy cleaning mine’  
taeyong falls too deeply, doesn't go anywhere without jaehyun  
obsesses over his basic moves like when he orders endless drinks  
or when he looks completely lost in thought, high off his ass  
taeyong thinks, this is the real jaehyun, the bad one  
he doesn't really spread love, he isn't as good as he looks  
he has no love left in his soul his heart melted in the heat but he completes him like no one else could ever do  
nothing stands between the two of them, nothing breaks them apart  
but that's just what taeyong thinks  
it's unrealistic to think like that feom the start but slowly,  
he realizes jaehyun never has that shine in his eyes for him  
jaehyun is lovestruck for someone else or not at all  
‘maybe he can’t fall in love,’ taeyong wonders ‘maybe i’m not enough’ but it's confirmed when he watches jaehyun next to her, once again  
a beautiful goddess who taeyong could never equal to  
and so he watches him leave him alone, he walks away  
back to her, back to someone he knows too well  
stares at his heart burning down to ashes with tears in his eyes  
reads text messages over and over again,  
leaves endless voicemails, begging for a simple small talk from jaehyun  
he calls and calls for a time that feels like forever  
it's a dead end, a mechanical beeping sound announcing heart ache  
‘i will love you forever’ he whispers into the phone,  
even if there's no one on the other side,  
even if jaehyun never speaks to him again,  
taeyong will love him endlessly, until he falls down dead  
he's being ignored, being erased by his soulmate  
what happens when your soulmate just leaves your life?  
he's being abandoned by the only person he madly loves  
he abandons himself, finds escape routes, alcohol, drugs and gambling  
the thrill of it all ends up being the story of a lonely soul  
left alone to his horrible self-destructive thoughts  
he's making drug money, gets adrenaline rush but nothing equals to him  
the one who makes him feel like liquid gold or a speck of dust  
he's gone and yes, taeyong was broken before, completely destroyed by him  
but he's still a beautiful soul, he has a sense of self-worth and ego  
he's not liquid gold anymore,  
but he's still gold.

**Author's Note:**

> don't think it's good but i enjoy feedback so please,,


End file.
